Ramen? It's mine!
by Kinkatia
Summary: Naruto and InuYasha. Both terribly hungry. Locked in a room together. Only one cup of instant ramen. Hilarious oneshot. Second chapter is a revision. Fixed the tense switches, but it needs more work. Will replace first chapter when done.
1. Chapter 1

Okay, here goes! This is my first fanfic that I'll be posting, though I've written other...on...well...paper. But I figured I'd do something utterly hilarious for my first posting, and here it is! At least, I hope it's utterly hilarious...

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, and I don't own InuYasha, and I don't own anything Naruto or InuYasha, and I don't own instant ramen...wait...does the stuff in my kitchen count?

**Ramen? It's mine!**

Narutoverse

Naruto was going nowhere in particular. In fact, he was bored. Very bored. And hungry. Not too hungry, but hungry enough. Hungry enough to consider going home and making something to eat. Well, making _ramen_ to eat. The yummy instant kind that comes in a cup and cooks in three minutes.

He was about to actually start heading home when Iruka spotted him. Well, he and Iruka spotted each other at the same time. So, Iruka comes over and asks Naruto if he wants to go to this new ramen place. You know, just to try their ramen, and see how good it is. And, naturally, Naruto says yes.

He follows Iruka to a plain white building. There are no signs, no windows, and only the one door. "Go on in," Iruka said. And, naturally, Naruto does so, not even thinking about why it didn't look like a ramen place.

The door closed behind him, but Iruka hadn't followed. Actually, it wasn't Iruka at all, it was some nameless ninja sent by the authoress to transform into Iruka and trick him into going inside the suspiciously plain building. When the door closed behind Naruto, the nameless ninja poofed back into himself, and wandered away, his work done. Well, not quite done, but, you know what I mean.

So, let's get back to Naruto. He found himself in a plain white room, with a plain white table in the middle of it. Nothing spectacular. He slowly realized that this was not someplace that sold ramen. But when he turned around to say so to Iruka, he found that he was all alone, and that the door had dissapeared behind him. Quite strange, wouldn't you say?

"What's going on?" he asked the empty room. And, naturally, he didn't get an answer.

Fuedal Japan

InuYasha was sitting in some random tree, in some random part of the forest, wondering what the rest of the gang was doing. He didn't really care too much. All he wanted to do was to go looking for the next jewel shard. But, much to his despair, everyone else had insisted on a day off. So, he was passing the day in a tree, close to sulking.

"InuYasha! Come quick!" Kagome ran up to the tree. "There's a jewel shard nearby, but a powerful demon has it!" Kagome didn't really smell like Kagome, and he sure didn't smell a demon anywhere nearby, but the half-demon wasn't really concerned about that. Why? Well, it's simple really. The authoress has the power of the keyboard, and can make him do whatever she wants him to. Which, in this case, was to follow this person who appeared to be Kagome, but might not really be her. And, of course, he did.

There was a small white windowless building with only one door. Kagome pointed at it. "The demon's in there!" So he ran inside. And guess what? It was a plain white room with a plain white table. And the door dissapeared behind him. But, what's this? Someone else in in there! It's, could it be? Yes, it's Naruto!

And outside this conspicuously futuristic building in the fuedal era of Japan, the same nameless ninja from before poofed out of his transformation, and walked off, actually finished with his job this time.

Plain White Room

"Who the hell are you?" InuYasha asked, irritated that he'd just walked right into a trap, and perfectly aware that the boy across the room was no demon.

Naruto, however, wasn't irritated. He was terrified. Wouldn't you be? I mean, he's trapped in a room, getting hungrier by the minute, and all of a sudden some kimono-wearing person with dog ears, claws, and fangs, walks in. It also doesn't help that he has a sword. "AHH! IT'S A DEMON!"

InuYasha was now confused. No one had ever thought he was a full demon before. "I'm only a half-demon, idiot," he mumbled. "Well, who are you?"

Naruto started calming down, since this half-demon person wasn't attacking him or anything. "I'm Naruto Uzumaki!" he half-shouted. "Who are you?"

"The name's InuYasha." And InuYasha was very annoyed at this loud-mouthed kid.

Suddenly, both of the room's occupants were very hungry. Not the normal, oh-I-skipped-breakfast-and-now-it's-lunch-time hungry, but the I-feel-like-I-haven't-eaten-in-a-week hungry. Why did this happen? Because of the amazing power of the keyboard!

Then, something appeared on the plain white table in the plain white room that was not quite so empty anymore. What was it? I don't think I'm going to tell you. Why, you may ask? Simple. I don't need to. Naruto will do it for me.

"IT'S INSTANT RAMEN!"

See? Didn't I tell you he'd tell you what it was?

A voice rang around the plain white room. It was a whiny metallic voice, like a small, annoying robot. Some of you may have seen a robot like that on some cartoon about an alien invader. But I can't name it, because then I might get sued. Why? Simple. I didn't mention it in the disclaimer above this story. Oh, yes, the story. Musn't keep our heroes waiting.

So, this little tinny voice said unto the ninja and half-demon, "Yes, a cup of instant ramen, or, as some may know it, ninja food. And, it is the only cup. Enjoy."

Suddenly, Naruto and InuYasha were eyeing each other warily. Each wanted that cup of ramen for himself, and both were too stubborn to even consider sharing it.

"That food's mine," InuYasha said firmly.

"NO WAY! IT'S MINE!" Naruto countered.

Well, we all know what happens next. Two totally stubborn people get into a totally stupid fight. Yes, that's exactly what happened. Quite sad, isn't it? Oh, what's that? You want more details? Okay, sure! After all, it must be much more interesting, and a good deal funnier, than anything else you could be doing right now. So, here goes.

"Shadow Clone Jutsu!" There were suddenly a hundred Narutos in that room. How they all fit, I do not know. Do you? No? Perhaps we never will.

"Feh. That the best you got kid?" InuYasha pulled out Tetsaiga, which was very, very large. Larger than any sword poor Naruto had ever seen. And he couldn't figure out how that very large sword fit in that considerably smaller sheathe. Of course, he shouldn't really have been thinking about it. That must be why he didn't see what was coming. What was it? Oh, it was just InuYasha's Wind Scar. And it was painfully obvious. Too bad Naruto didn't see it coming. But, as it was, every one of his loud-mouthed hyper-active shadow clones got pummeled. And, as shadow clones will, they dissapeared. Just the natural order of things.

And, all of you who know Naruto, logically would know what happens next. He--"SHADOW CLONE JUTSU!" Uh, nevermind. The authoress must really have a serious talk with Naruto about interupting. It's quite rude.

So, InuYasha--"That again?"

"You bet! And that ramen is mine!"

"Feh. Like you stand a chance against me."

HOLD IT HOLD IT HOLD IT! Let the authoress speak! Or at least narrate! Please?

Once again, Naruto's shadow clones were demolished by InuYasha's Wind Scar. "That ain't gonna work against me, idiot." InuYasha was smiling. That ramen was _his. _

Naruto was thinking the exact same thing. So his shadow clones didn't work. He had an ace up his sleeve. This cocky person with dog ears and long, flowing silver hair was in for quite a shock. So, he grinned, and shouted something completely incomprehensible, and there was a poof! Next thing you know, Naruto has transformed into a naked young girl with swirly fog acting as censors. He ran right up to an unmoving InuYasha.

"Please let me have the ramen? Pretty please?"

InuYasha's ear twitched. A vein pulsed in his forehead. He narrowed his eyes in annoyance. He knew if Kagome were here, she'd beat the brat to a pulp. He flexed his hand, and brought his claws suddenly across the ninja's face. Needless to say, a very shocked Naruto poofed back into himself and backed away. Backed away very quickly from the sharp claws.

Apparently, that wasn't going to work on a half-demon from the fuedal era of Japan. Of course, Naruto didn't even wonder how he knew InuYasha was from the fuedal era. Typical naruto, isn't it?

"Enough games! Either you give me a real fight, or I'll be taking that ninja food." InuYasha was very angry. And still VERY hungry.

"You wanna real fight? You've got it! You'll be begging for mercy! BELIEVE IT!" He quickly took out a shuriken and threw it.

The half-demon dodged easily. He is very fast, after all. And he sent another Wind Scar at Naruto. Who, miraculously, actually saw it coming and jumped out of the way.

Naruto decided to eliminate the problem of that wind blast. So he quickly leaped in for close combat. Yes, he used his brain. But only a little. You see, he forgot about the--

"OW! That sword's sharp!"--nevermind...

"You bet it is. So you better keep your guard up, or I'll slice you in two."

Naruto was kept busy dodging the sharp sword and trying to land a blow on InuYasha. The latter was not happening. Instead, InuYasha gave him an--"IRON REAVER SOUL STEALER"--yep, that. And Naruto was sent flying back into the wall. He then proceeded to crumple to the ground with a pain-filled groan.

"Feh. Not even worth the trouble," InuYasha mumbled, approaching the table and ramen, which had somehow remained undisturbed by the battle.

"Not worth the trouble?" InuYasha whirled around at the sound of Naruto's voice. He sounded angry. Very angry. Angry enough to kill. Why he was getting this worked up over ramen, I haven't a clue. But, he did anyway. "I'll show you who's not worth the trouble!" He was struggling to his feet, and reddish orangey swirls were appearing around him. Oh, and InuYasha picked up the distinct scent of a demon. I guess that means the seal keeping the kyuubi inside Naruto was starting to leak again. Poor Inu has no clue what he'd in for.

"What's going on?" the said half-demon demanded.

"I'm kicking your butt, that's what!" Naruto shouted, unaware that he had just made a rhyme.

And so, the tables turned. Naruto landed blow after blow, seriously wearing InuYasha down. Inu put up a good fight, though, for Naruto was getting battered as well. Somehow he managed to hold his ground, if just barely. All he needed was one chance, one opening when he could jump away from the freaky swirly demon kid and--"BACKLASH WAVE!"

Naruto was blown extremely forcefully against the opposite wall. He was down for the count. Spent. THere was nothing more he could do. InuYasha fell to the ground, every last drop of energy gone.

Finally, they managed to get to their feet. "Um, should we, just, share?" Naruto asked hesitantly, knowing he couldn't take another fight. Not even the shouting kind of fight.

"Sure, whatever."

They hobbled to the still undisturbed table in the middle of the room, and were reaching for the now cold ramen, when--POOF--it dissapeared!

"H-Hey!"

What the--?"

Ha ha, that was great. Two idiots fought like that over a cup of vegetable soup because they thought it was instant ramen! How good can it get? Wait..why are you two glaring at me like that? No, please, don't come any closer. R-Remember, I have the power of the keyboard!

OOUh...AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

**Okay, that wasn't as funny as I'd hoped, but, oh well. I can always make it better later. So, yeah, I hope you enjoyed, and, please review! **


	2. Revision

A/N: I revised it! THe tense switches were bothering me. There is still much work that needs to be done here, and I shall replace the first chapter with the final version when it is complete. Thank you for your patience. Constructive criticism is always welcome.

**Ramen? It's mine!**

Naruto is going nowhere in particular. He is going just for the sake of going. See, he happens to be bored. Very bored. And hungry. Not too hungry, but hungry enough. Hungry enough to consider going home and making something to eat. Well, making _ramen_ to eat. The yummy instant kind that comes in a cup and cooks in three minutes.

He turns a corner and seriously considers actually heading home. The idea sounds more and more appealing with each step. This is when he spots Iruka. Well, he and Iruka spot each other at the same time, to be precise. They wander on over to each other and say hello. Then Iruka asks Naruto is he wants to go to this new ramen place that has opened up recently. You know, just to try their ramen, and see if it was anywhere near as good as Ichiraku's. Naruto asks if Iruka is treating. He says he is. So, naturally, Naruto says yes, but in his typically exuberant manner and with a shout of "Dattebayo!"

He follows Iruka around several turns until they finally stop in front of a plain white building. There are no signs, no windows, and only the one door. All in all, it seems rather suspicious. "Go on in," Iruka says. And, naturally, Naruto does so, not even thinking about why it doesn't look like a ramen place.

The door closes behind him, but Iruka hasn't followed. Actually, it isn't Iruka at all, it's some nameless ninja sent by the authoress to transform into Iruka and trick him into going inside the suspiciously plain building. When the door closes behind Naruto, the nameless ninja poofs back into himself, and wanders away, his work done. Well, not quite done, but, you know what I mean.

So, let's get back to Naruto. He finds himself in a plain white room, with a plain white table in the middle of it. Nothing spectacular. He slowly realizes that this is not someplace that sells ramen. But when he turns around to say so to Iruka, he finds that he is all alone, and that the door has disappeared behind him. Quite strange, wouldn't you say?

"What's going on?" he asks the empty room. And, naturally, he doesn't get an answer.

InuYasha is sitting in some random tree, in some random part of the forest, wondering what the rest of the gang is doing. He doesn't really care too much. All he wants to do is to go looking for the next jewel shard. But, much to his despair, everyone else had insisted on a day off. So, he is passing the day in a tree, close to sulking.

"InuYasha! Come quick!" Kagome runs up to the tree. "There's a jewel shard nearby, but a powerful demon has it!" Kagome doesn't really smell like Kagome, and he sure doesn't smell a demon anywhere nearby, but the half-demon isn't really concerned about that. Why? Well, it's simple really. The authoress has the power of the keyboard, and can make him do whatever she wants him to. Which, in this case, is to follow this person who appears to be Kagome, but might not really be her. And, of course, he does.

There is a small, white, windowless building with only one door. Kagome points at it. "The demon's in there!" So he runs inside. And guess what? It is a plain white room with a plain white table. And the door disappears behind him. But wait, there is someone else in there! Could it be? Yes, it's Naruto!

And outside this conspicuously futuristic building in the feudal era of Japan, the same nameless ninja from before poofs out of his transformation, and walks off, actually finished with his job this time.

"Who the hell are you?" InuYasha asks, irritated that he's just walked right into a trap, and perfectly aware that the boy across the room is no demon.

Naruto, however, isn't irritated. He is terrified. Wouldn't you be? I mean, he's trapped in a room, getting hungrier by the minute, and all of a sudden some haori-wearing person with dog ears, claws, and fangs, walks in. It also doesn't help that he has a sword. It doesn't matter that Naruto has seen and will see stranger and scarier things. "AHH! IT'S A DEMON!"

InuYasha is quite confused. No one had ever thought he was a full demon before. "I'm only a half-demon, idiot," he mumbles. "Well, who are you?"

Naruto starts calming down, since this half-demon person isn't attacking him or anything. "I'm Uzumaki Naruto!" he half-shouts. "Who are you?"

"The name's InuYasha." And InuYasha is very annoyed with this loud-mouthed kid.

Suddenly, both of the room's occupants are very hungry. Not the normal, oh-I-skipped-breakfast-and-now-it's-lunch-time hungry, but the I-feel-like-I-haven't-eaten-in-a-week hungry. Why does this happen? Because of the amazing power of the keyboard!

Then, something appears on the plain white table in the plain white room that is not quite so empty anymore. What is it? I don't think I'm going to tell you. Why, you may ask? Simple. I don't need to. Naruto will do it for me.

"IT'S INSTANT RAMEN!"

See? Didn't I tell you he'd tell you what it was?

A voice rings around the plain white room. It is a whiny metallic voice, like a small, annoying robot. Some of you may have seen a robot like that on some cartoon about an alien invader. But I can't name it, because then I might get sued. Why? Simple. I didn't mention it in the disclaimer above this story. Oh, yes, the story. Mustn't keep our heroes waiting.

So, this little tinny voice says unto the ninja and half-demon, "Yes, a cup of instant ramen, or, as some may know it, ninja food. And, it is the only cup. Enjoy."

Suddenly, Naruto and InuYasha are eyeing each other warily. Each wants that cup of ramen for himself, and both are too stubborn to even consider sharing it.

"That food's mine," InuYasha says firmly.

"NO WAY! IT'S MINE!" Naruto counters.

Well, we all know what happens next. Two totally stubborn people get into a totally stupid fight. Yes, that's exactly what happens. Quite sad, isn't it? Oh, what's that? You want more details? Okay, sure! After all, it must be much more interesting, and a good deal funnier, than anything else you could be doing right now. So, here goes.

"Shadow Clone Jutsu!" There are suddenly a hundred Narutos in that room. How they all fit, I do not know. Do you? No? Perhaps we never will.

"Feh. That the best you got kid?" InuYasha pulls out Tetsusaiga, which is very, very large. Larger than any sword poor Naruto has ever seen. And he can't figure out how that very large sword fits in that considerably smaller sheathe. Of course, he shouldn't really be thinking about it. That must be why he doesn't see what's coming. What is it? Oh, it's just InuYasha's Wind Scar. And it's painfully obvious. Too bad Naruto doesn't see it coming. And every one of his loud-mouthed hyper-active shadow clones get pummeled. And, as shadow clones will, they disappear. Just the natural order of things.

And, all of you who know Naruto logically would know what happens next. He--"SHADOW CLONE JUTSU!" Uh, nevermind. The authoress must really have a serious talk with Naruto about interrupting. It's quite rude.

So, InuYasha--"That again?"

"You bet! And that ramen is mine!"

"Feh. Like you stand a chance against me."

HOLD IT HOLD IT HOLD IT! Let the authoress speak! Or at least narrate! Please?

Once again, Naruto's shadow clones are demolished by InuYasha's Wind Scar. "That ain't gonna work against me, idiot." InuYasha smiles. That ramen is _his._

Naruto is thinking the exact same thing. So his shadow clones don't work. He has an ace up his sleeve. This cocky person with dog ears and long, flowing silver hair is in for quite a shock. So, he grins, and shouts something completely incomprehensible, and there is a poof! Next thing InuYasha knows, Naruto has transformed into a naked young girl with swirly fog acting as censors. He runs right up to an unmoving InuYasha.

"Please let me have the ramen? Pretty please?"

InuYasha's ear twitches. A vein pulses in his forehead. He narrows his eyes in annoyance. He knows that if Kagome were here, she'd beat the brat to a pulp. He flexes his hand, and brings his claws suddenly across the ninja's face. Needless to say, a very shocked Naruto poofs back into himself and backs away. Backs away very quickly from the sharp claws.

Apparently, that wasn't going to work on a half-demon from the feudal era of Japan. Of course, Naruto doesn't even wonder how he knows InuYasha is from the feudal era. Typical Naruto, isn't it?

"Enough games! Either you give me a real fight, or I'll be taking that ninja food." InuYasha is very angry. And still VERY hungry.

"You wanna real fight? You've got it! You'll be begging for mercy! DATTEBAYO!" He quickly takes out a shuriken and throws it.

The half-demon dodges easily. He is very fast, after all. And he sends another Wind Scar at Naruto. Who, miraculously, actually sees it coming and jumps out of the way.

Naruto decides to eliminate the problem of that wind blast. So he quickly leaps in for close combat. Yes, he used his brain. But only a little. You see, he forgot about the--

"OW! That sword's sharp!"--nevermind...

"You bet it is. So you better keep your guard up, or I'll slice you in two."

Naruto wis kept busy dodging the sharp sword and trying to land a blow on InuYasha. The latter is not happening. Instead, InuYasha gives him an--"IRON REAVER SOUL STEALER"--yep, that. And Naruto is sent flying back into the wall. He then proceeds to crumple to the ground with a pain-filled groan.

"Feh. Not even worth the trouble," InuYasha mumbles, approaching the table and ramen, which had somehow remained undisturbed by the battle.

"Not worth the trouble?" InuYasha whirls around at the sound of Naruto's voice. He sounds angry. Very angry. Angry enough to kill. Why he is getting this worked up over ramen, I haven't a clue. But, he does anyway. "I'll show you who's not worth the trouble!" He struggles to his feet, and reddish orangey swirls appear around him. Oh, and InuYasha picks up the distinct scent of a demon. I guess that means the seal keeping the kyuubi inside Naruto is starting to leak again. Poor Inu has no clue what he was in for.

"What's going on?" said half-demon demands.

"I'm kicking your butt, that's what!" Naruto shouts, unaware that he has just made a rhyme.

And so, the tables turn. Naruto lands blow after blow, seriously wearing InuYasha down. InuYasha puts up a good fight, though, for Naruto is getting battered as well. Somehow he manages to hold his ground, if just barely. All he needs is one chance, one opening when he can jump away from the freaky swirly demon kid and--"BACKLASH WAVE!"

Naruto is blown extremely forcefully against the opposite wall. He is down for the count. Spent. There is nothing more he could do. InuYasha falls to the ground, every last drop of energy gone.

Finally, they manage to get to their feet. "Um, should we... just... share?" Naruto asks hesitantly, knowing he can't take another fight. Not even the shouting kind of fight.

"Sure, whatever."

They hobble to the still undisturbed table in the middle of the room, and are reaching for the now-cold ramen, when--POOF--it disappears!

"H-Hey!"

What the--?"

Ha ha, that was great. Two idiots fought like that over a cup of vegetable soup because they thought it was instant ramen! How good can it get? Wait..why are you two glaring at me like that? No, please, don't come any closer. R-Remember, I have the power of the keyboard!

Uh...AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!


End file.
